If It’s Free, It’s For Me…Maybe.

We love our freebies, don’t we?

These days, no community get-together is complete without someone handing out pens or helium balloons. On the regular, we stuff our wallets with punch cards or download apps onto our phones so we can have our 11th cup of coffee on the house, or get an extra pair of socks. I’ve known people to take an additional carry-on bag to conferences so that they can fly home with an array of branded sticky notes, beer cozies, and tiny tins of breath mints. At some venues, it almost looks like a round of off-season trick-or-treating, with people wandering about, gathering up whatever is being offered in a tote bag (which is also a freebie). I’ve done it too, and as a business owner, I rarely participate in any event without having something amusing that visitors can take home with them. It’s usually all in good fun, and people generally appreciate what they get.

The freebie thing can, however, get a bit weird. Someone I knew who had a booth at a major trade show came in one morning before opening to find an attendee who had snuck past the security guard, legs sticking out from under their table skirt, stuffing handfuls of “the good swag” into a backpack. In my own booths, I’ve seen grown adults get strangely focused on whatever kids’ treats they can get their hands on, and yes, many times it’s been adults who weren’t there with kids. They tend to circle back a few times, avoiding eye contact. Sometimes there’s an aggressiveness to it, when the vibe changes from “Oh what fun! May I have one?” to “I can take what I want. Try and stop me.”

For some reason, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Maybe it’s because we’re all in a time of economic instability and it’s a small relief to be handed something, or maybe it’s because it’s outdoor festival season, and the freebie seekers and givers are out in full force. Either way, I have questions, not so much about the bits and bobs on offer, but about what these exchanges can reveal about us and where we’re at.

For starters, I wonder what’s the appeal of the stuff itself. If we’re honest with ourselves, we know that most of the sparkly, clicky, plastic baubles we get will either sit in a drawer, or will be unceremoniously dumped in the trash by the end of the week. Very little swag is useful, and if it weren’t stuffed into our hands, we’d never think about it, let alone miss it. So, it’s not about the freebies themselves, but what they represent, the customs they speak to. We get freebies because, for better or for worse, we live eyeballs-deep in capitalism, and there is an ongoing competition for our attention and our money. We’re supposed to want stuff, as much stuff as possible, including random, crummy, mass-produced, future landfill stuff. That’s what good consumers crave. Why wouldn’t we accept anything handed to us, even by strangers? Aren’t we just so very lucky when we are given random, crummy, mass-produced, future landfill stuff, for free? I imagine there’s some sort of dopamine blast associated with freebies, though that may be learned behaviour.

I also wonder why some free stuff is valued more than other free stuff. If it’s not about just getting anything for free, then what? What makes someone break into a conference hall and steal one kind of free thing, while not even pausing to look at another kind of free thing? What if the stuff being offered for free is not a thing, but an experience, or someone’s time and energy? Is free stuff as desirable if it requires us to pause for a moment, to interact with another human, or to put a bit of effort into it? Are we willing to forego something less tangible to collect something we can put in our pocket? What assumptions are we making about the individuals or organizations providing the free thing when we choose this over that?

I wonder what it says about us that we sometimes get a little nasty and demanding of free stuff. In general, we’re all probably feeling a little taken advantage of, like we’re working hard, struggling professionally, personally, financially... Darn tootin’ we feel like we deserve something free once in a while, especially when we don’t get to have the stuff we’re working/paying for. In times of want, we should expect some desperation. What I see on the faces of people who are a little too pushy, however, isn’t desperation, but entitlement. It’s a little bit of satisfaction at the thought of getting away with something, like they’re winning. It reads with just a little of suspicion and maybe even fear. I want five promotional travel mugs instead of one, because screw the system. I want to pay $9.99 instead of $10.00, because I like to stick it to the man. It’s annoying, but it’s also concerning, and I wonder what holes in people’s lives might possibly be filled with this.

It's not that freebies are completely without their uses. Some of them keep your kid amused and quiet long enough that you can enjoy a long-awaited outing. Some of them do end up getting used, or given away to someone in a pinch, or gobbled up as a snack when you forgot to bring one with you. I’m willing to concede that some freebies are given out of generosity, maybe not instead of, but in addition to PR and marketing efforts.

But I worry a lot, that we’re at a point where we won’t participate in anything, no matter how enriching or fun, without expecting there to be a goodie pack or a book of coupons waiting for us at the end, and it doesn’t really matter what they are or what they’re for. I once got a swag bag composed of a sample of uncooked wild rice, a tetra pack of chocolate almond milk, a bracelet made from an old spoon, and a pair of thong underwear (one size fits all). I snarked and laughed out loud as I picked through it. I worry that we judge (like I did) an organization by how cool their t-shirts are, or whether they decide to shell out for stickers instead of temporary tattoos.

I worry that there are intangible freebies that are routinely overlooked, people trying to reach out and help that aren’t acknowledged because they don’t give away what’s expected, like physical stuff. I acknowledge that no freebie is given without some sort of expectation of a return, but are we so completely done with altruism that we look with suspicion at anyone who gives freely of their time and effort? There are online content creators, community volunteers, and others who genuinely wish to help, to inform, to entertain, and enlighten, often on their own dime. Do we stop and accept what they’re offering with the appropriate amount of gratitude?

If we’re going to expect something free with every excursion, with every instance of participation, I think we’re going to need to start expecting better stuff. My mental real estate and my time are worth more than a pair of cheap sunglasses or an inflatable beach ball. If I go out somewhere, I want to take home something longer-lasting than a new addition to the junk drawer. I’d like a memory, a new idea, or a connection to someone cool.

I’ll even pay for it.